It’s the first hour of the day, one year since I married Beardo. I should be asleep. I’m thinking of our wedding. I’m walking through the pictures. Laying in the bed we built the night before. My poor manicure; I didn’t get construction proof polish ….
I walked through the sum total of our emails recently. So much discontent. So much hope and fear. They stand in stark contrast to the peace that is now, ever present.
When I think of releasing judgement – my recent good bye to it – I see the gift of its descent upon me. I see it when I read the emails and view the pictures.
It’s not just that we are love when we cross over. It’s that the peace is a core, the truth of the person that is no more.
And so I am gifted with the core of who Beardo is – not was – everyday. I have the privilege of knowing the person he was striving to be, because he has become.
The gift of leading a man to his peace is that it now shines a light. That which needs my attention steps forward with a greater ease. That which no longer serves, it can leave now.
Distilled Beardo shines beside me. His presence brings clear my own.
Happy Peaceversary, my soldier. Thank you for continuing to be, for taking care of me as you knew how, for trusting me with your rage. The cup has been emptied and recycled; I choose love.
“I remember when wind would make me cry.” (You + Me)